How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize