i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
