Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
