He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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