ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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