I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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