Will you blow on my dice?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Watching her eat just hurts me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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