Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize