I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
