You made me cry and you don't even care
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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