OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
this will be a night to untag.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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