My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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