Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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