This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
