I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
