I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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