You're completely useless in the revolution.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
