I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
