I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I understand Curling. That high.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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