Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
is that a dick in a sweater?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize