yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
