i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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