I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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