There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
