dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
