Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
