do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The power of my boobs compel you
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
