Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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