I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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