we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
me + whiskey = a bad person
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize