Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
