Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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