Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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