let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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