New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
