I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
