You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
