I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no you cant smoke seaweed
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
