I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
