its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
