I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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