we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
