Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
