Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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