god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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