i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
