You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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