They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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