I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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