"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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