Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
