Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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