Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize