well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize