Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
