he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
