Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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