So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
how does that bad decision feel?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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