I wanna passion pit in your ass
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
