So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
