You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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