I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
