What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
