Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
