I accidentally had phone sex last night
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
