Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
